Put Your Finger on the Pulse, with MacNeal Lashley
MacNeal Lashley affectionately known as Mac, was born and raised in Barbados. Much of Mac’s character, knowledge and drive is inspired by the community and culture of the Caribbean. Mac sees himself as somewhat of a humble underdog, striving every day to be a better version of himself; in his personal life, the community, and his professional life as a successful financial planner. Mac is extremely passionate when it comes to assisting his clients. But more important to him is his role as a father to his four beautiful daughters, Damara 15, MacKenna 8, and twins, Hannah and Hayley, 10 months. He believes that fathers are the example, and ultimately set the benchmark for future relationships. So, he does everything in his power to set the bar high for his girls. Mac describes his partner, Erika, as, “the spark of my life.”
Since meeting Mac for the first time over a Zoom call, not only have we discovered that we’re neighbours but we’ve become friends, and it is a relationship that I look forward to building. Mac has an undeniable energy about him. He is extremely insightful, upbeat, as bright as they come, and really just a guy who you want to have in your inner circle. I have a strong sense and appreciation that Mac and I have each other’s back, something that typically takes more than a couple of casual encounters to develop. Mac’s the best.
After moving to Canada in 2014, life has changed dramatically for Mac. Although people often talk about the “Canadian experience”, it was difficult for him to immigrate here and pick things back up parallel to where he was. He had to completely start over and rebuild after years of education, training, and working his way up the ladder. Over time it became clear to him that he was not going to be able to go back to what he was doing in his career prior to immigrating. He would have to start at the bottom and work his way up all over again, and that path was simply not an option with a family to support. Eventually Mac landed a position that he enjoyed and felt passionate about, and it was then that he moved to Hamilton from Fort Erie, Ontario. Over the course of three years he went from being an insurance salesperson, to becoming a trainer, manager, director, running a team, having an office within an office, and an administrative assistant.
Mac is thankful for his journey and the path he had to travel to get to where he is today. He and I could relate on our experiences in the journey of losing ourselves, in order to truly find ourselves. And with that, I want to share one of Mac’s favourite quotes: “Life is lived forward and understood backward.” It means we’re too busy living so we can’t understand what we’re going through. But once we’ve gone through it, we can look back and see everything clearly and with purpose because hindsight is 20/20.
Mac grew up in a predominantly black environment, as his country is 90 percent black. But, even in that atmosphere, the dominant class is the other 10 percent. Mac has always viewed this issue of black and white through a much different lens. He accepts the way it is, however, he does not accept that the colour of his skin makes him any less of a person. Mac knows exactly who he is, he is thankful to be in a place where he is so self-aware and he knows that he is as good as anyone else standing shoulder to shoulder, toe to toe. Because he was raised this way, some things that should be upsetting can often miss him.
“You should not live your life in fear of what could happen, and at the same token you have to live your life being prepared.”
“I knew that at some point we were going to reach this place where we find ourselves today. I could see that things would escalate to the point where black people said, you know what, enough is enough. As opposed to talking about the matter, since nobody wants to do it, people are going to start hurting each other. That was my worst fear.” Mac is fearful because his two youngest children are biracial. He doesn’t want to live in a world where there are two groups of people, but rather, one single race, the human race. Mac is also hopeful, as he feels people have been awoken to their ideology which has ultimately been the driving force that’s created the divide. Mac feels optimistically positive in the midst of all the negative. “The world we are going to build for our children is this; If you saw me on the street and someone was demonstrating racism towards me, you would get your back up and fight for me. I’m hopeful that we won’t have the issue of skin colour anymore, that we will judge a person based on their heart and what is in their mind. This should be the deciding factor that determines who you connect with.”
People have been racist towards Mac here in Canada. He has had many uncomfortable experiences in business meetings and even while in the company of his own clients. Mac is a very compassionate man, and I admire this about him deeply. He offers people the benefit of the doubt, in that, you never know what a person has experienced in their day or what issues they themselves could be dealing with. He actively tries not to run straight to racism. But Mac has also been in situations where he has chosen to address certain issues. He refers to these as teachable opportunities. In one scenario, while sitting across the table from a client, he could pick up that there was a very obvious difference in the frequencies between them. Mac says that although it is his job to serve his clients, offering great service does not enable becoming a servant to another person. And that is a battle he is willing to pick. This gentleman in particular required Mac’s services, but at the end of the day, Mac did not require his money at the expense of his self-worth and that is the conversation that was had. This person is still Mac’s client today and they have a great relationship.
“One thing I’ve learned over the years is not to be afraid to just get up and say to people, listen, we do not need to do this. Life is too precious. A lot of the time you have to give people the opportunity to grow and to learn. I considered that scenario a teachable opportunity to explain to someone who was ignorant that, who you think I am, I am not. I am not here to beg you for your busines. As a matter of fact, I don’t want your business if this is what I have to go through to get it. When people do the work to change their behaviour, you move on and leave it. Shame is something that is very difficult to deal with. When someone sees themselves as on the back foot it is not your responsibility to make it worse.”
Since moving to Canada, Mac has been teaching his eldest daughters to be mindful of what they do. “When you live in the real world, there are typical do’s and don’ts you have to be aware of.” Mac wants his daughters to be cognisant and conscious as they are now growing up and experiencing life in a predominantly white community. He teaches them to be aware of their surroundings, even though they fully understand that what’s going on is not fair and it’s not right. They know people are being treated differently. “You should not live your life in fear of what could happen, and at the same token you have to live your life being prepared.” Mac would love to never have to have that discussion with his two youngest daughters in the hopes that change is coming.
Although Mac doesn’t believe things will change completely, he does see our world moving into a more inclusive environment. Some people will move in this direction because that is what they truly believe to be fair, others may follow suit because they’re afraid of being called out on social media. Either way, we’re living in a time where people are becoming aware and that is a good thing. Having your mind tuned means that people are now looking for racism – black and white people are looking for racism. Because of this, Mac says he feels safer today running on the trail than he did before this. He gets the nods now, people smile at him and say, “hi, how are you.” Because people have woken up to the idea that we are not that different.
“I have four daughters that need to grow up in this world. I want to make sure that they have a decent existence.”
Photography by, Robyn Russell
To be in a position to help champion change, is to seek knowledge. And not just on the TV, social media, radio and books. It goes beyond that, we have to research, diversify our networks - seek the knowledge. This is where it starts. Try to figure out, that person you see on the street, what is their existence like. Because by having that knowledge you can put yourself into their shoes. Being able to walk a mile in Mac’s shoes, we understand his pain, his burden, his frustration and his anger. The more we understand, the easier it becomes for us to identify with Mac. Once we are informed, we need to stand up for something and not let anything pass. Every race has bad people, but it doesn’t matter the colour of your skin, it is our responsibility to try and pull it all together. Stand for something, work with people.
Mac and I discussed privilege. “If you think you have privilege, or better yet, if you know you have privilege, use it for your advantage and for mine. Come and stand next to me, so that we can move forward. Put your finger on the pulse.” I have a better opportunity to be heard than Mac does, so I understand why Mac expects me to stand up and say something. If we as white people see an injustice, we need to speak to it. If you’re in the line-up at a supermarket and you think someone is being racist to the person in front of you, Mac would empower you to get your back up about it. We need to stand up for our brothers and sisters and let that person in the line-up know this is not good enough. When we speak about privilege this is how we as a society need to pivot. We each have a platform, and that platform is our voice. Use it to the advantage of the other person who is being disenfranchised. Use your privilege in a constructive way. Put your finger on the pulse.
Thank you Mac, for your willingness to share your story with us and to Robyn Russell for your collaboration on this project.